Yesterday afternoon, I was on the phone with a good friend talking about an acquaintance and the disagreements we had had; angry as I was, I explained the lack of respect that the incident represented. My friend told me, “Selva, the thing about ethics is that they are optional; you either adhere to them or you don’t, and apparently this person has already shown you that they do not.”
A great phrase if ever there was one… it reminds me a bit of a phrase from an SEO friend when we were talking about whether a client could ask us for a certain online action and whether it was ethical or not; he replied, “Hey Selva, don’t ask me, I’m an SEO, I don’t have ethics” (😉).
Joking aside, this topic has made me reconsider several work criteria, not only when we are online but in our daily lives. Yesterday, also speaking with another friend from a state security force who is used to working with and against the “bad guys,” he told me: “After these years in the force, I’ve realized that in the end, only the bad guys succeed.” Actually, his words were:
In this life, only the bastards succeed; it is that blunt and disgusting, but that is how it is. To which I replied:
I do not agree; I think it is bread for today and hunger for tomorrow, or rather, success for today and loneliness for tomorrow, but well, that is just my opinion…
He replied: “The mindset of a winner—not all of them, but almost all—is certainly not this…”
You may wonder why this post today and why transcribe conversations with friends, but this discussion was already coming up in too many conversations—about what to do and what not to do, doubtful and even dangerous professional relationships—and behind all this, what is there? “Perceptions, memories, and ultimately one’s own reputation… so I am sure you understand yesterday’s F… U.. on Facebook.
Well, to the acquaintance who played us in the end, I replied something like: “Normally I do not allow myself the luxury of getting angry with people I appreciate, but this has been very ugly and I am granting myself the opportunity to react poorly… I believe I deserve an apology.”—politeness above all—
This morning the same friend—the expert!—told me: “Look Selva, normally these people do not question anything while they continue to rub shoulders with scum of their own kind, but in the end, when they come across someone who is not only good at what they do but also has ethics, they receive the opportunity to reflect; if they are really very foolish or have a lot of ambition, in the end they do nothing, but… it can happen.”
From all this, in the end, I keep what is useful to me: placing “red flags” on people’s behavior, signs that a deal is not going to go well, and next time I will have seen the flag raised before it happens, but it still stings.
Well, I had to vent; after all, it is my blog and I say what I think, don’t I?
…Opinions are welcome….